Monday, March 5, 2007

...Never Again

Have you ever been so terrified of something, something you know you had to do, but you still couldn't bring yourself to do it? Up until the last few months, I really hadn't ever felt that way before. I am ashamed to say that if someone told me that they were feeling this way, I would have scoffed and told them to just suck it up and do it.

My job, as great as it is sometimes, has its downfalls. As a new business owner, I have to build my business from scratch, that means nothing, nada, zilch. To help get us clients, the company asks us to go door knocking to introduce ourselves and the company.

I knew from the second day I was doing this, that something just didn't feel right. I was having anxiety attacks first thing in the morning, throwing up and stuff. If it weren't for my wife, I don't think I would have made it this far, she was always behind me, gently nudging me, always supporting me.

I don't know what it is, I have been in sales all of my life, there's nothing that would otherwise intimidate me the way that this door knocking does. There's just something that clicks inside of me when I even think about doing it. My entire body suddenly feels like someone has poured cement into it, I can't move. If I do get myself to the neighbourhood that I want to door knock, I can't seem to get myself out of the car. I don't know what to do sometimes, I just don't.

If you're reading this, and I have ever told you to just suck it up and do it, I want you to know that I am sorry for saying such a heartless thing to you, I honestly didn't know what you were going through, now I do.

I hope all of this will go away in time, the sooner the better. I am running out of old contacts and an slowly coming to the realization that I will eventually have to go and door knock some more, probably sooner rather than later.

I guess I'll just have to suck it up and do it.


Kim said...

Conquering fears can be very liberating and empowering. Don't give up until you have given it your very best try. I happen to know you have a wonderful wife who will support any decision you make. By the way, so will your Mommma.

Shelley said...

Keep in mind that you truly want to help the people you reach out to. If they refuse the help, don't take it personally - just have faith that the person you are supposed to help may be behind the next door. I'm cheering you on too!! :-)
Your Auntie

patsyrose said...

What you're feeling is fear of rejection and the accompanying embarrassment. You carry a tremendous pride in yourself so it isn't unusual that you fear these things. It requires a change of attitude on your part and Shelley may have hit the nail on the head. Your attitude should be "I have something of value to offer you but if you choose to be rude to me then it's your loss". Never take rudeness personally.

The difficulty you have will never really go away but one day soon you'll be so successful you can hire someone else to do the door knocking!